September 21st 2008:
Hey,
Well i have a few things to report to you.I now have a new job at a bar called Bumper,which i absolutely adore.It's a really chilled out place and everybody gets along and it's a bit like a family which reminded me of my time at Yacht and Beach in Disney with my little marina family,who i miss more than i could say.
I started back to uni and got a total surprise with how amazing my timetable is so that was good and my student loan went in as well so that helped me out in reducing my debt which,might i add, i have now reduced by half,from saving up my tips and wages and a bit of my student loan and also just scrimping and saving as much as humanly possible :D
So all is going well.Have been talking on SKYPE,the most ingenious invention ever,to Jen and Luke which is awesome.Spoke to James as well,who never fails to make me smile.So really,life is good right now.It appears things have taken a turn for the better and i am enjoying life again :)
I am also gonna do my research and get a new project to aim for travelwise next summer and once i have cleared my debts, i am gonna start saving up for that :D Good times!!So things really are fandabbiedose right now.
Not really got much else to say but felt the need to express how happy i am feeling right now :)
Love xxx
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Leaks,Bugs and Love.
September 10th 2008:
Ok.Well i have tons of things to say so i thought it was about time to blog again.
I have had possibly the worst few days ever just recently!!
I moved into a flat that we found in Liverpool,all ready for Year 2!!! It was totally perfect when we visited as well, and i was mega mega excited!!It was right next to the students union and our uni builing and everything :)
HOIWEVER...the time comes for us to move in,and we're still mega excited.BUT then we get there and it was a total train wreck disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly,there were leaks in the ceiling with water coming through so that the entire living room smelt like damp which believe me is totally disgusting!And not to mention there was a BUCKET to catch all the water that was seeping through and dripping onto the floor!!! The walls and ceiling which used to be beautiful white were now brown because of the leak!!! And it was all through the living room,into my room and in Laurens room.And oh yeah, did i mention that Lauren has asthma and therefore cannot be anywhere near conditions like these is she wishes to survive!!!!!
Then there was bugs in the kitchen because evidently they liked the warm and damp conditions,so me and Lauren had to become expert woodlice and beetle killers in a very short space of time!!!!Oh and there was a GIANT SPIDER in the one bedroom that me and Lauren had to share!Yes,you heard me,in our perfect two bed flat we had to share a mattress on the floor because the idiots who had been trying to fix the leak had stood on and broke the beds!!! So we were scared shitless sharing this mattress in a leaky and bug-ridden flat for our first night!!Which was not at all what we'd paid for!!!We were literally crying because it was so bad!!
So of course,me being me, i went into kick ass mode and headed off to the student welfare office armed with a camera full of photo's of the most disgusting place on earth!!!And the woman down there agreed that it was minging (gross)!
So then we had a huge drama trying to get this evil witch of an estate agent to let us out of our tenancy contract so we could go find somewhere else!And she was being a right evil moo,telling us that we'd never find anywhere now and that she could move us around until it was fixed.IS SHE CRAZY?!?! It's an important year,as if we wanna live in different flats and be moved around until she decides to sort out trampsville!!!!NO WAY LADY!!!
What she didn't know is that by some miracle,we had already found a really cute little place where me and Lauren can both have our own rooms and bathrooms,back in Liberty Park,our old place of residence :D So it seemed our luck was changing!!!
Sooooooooooooo long story and bad bits over,we managed to get out of the contract with the witch,by threatening her with environmental health and Lauren's asthma issues!! So then we had to stay in the hellhole (flat)for another night and move all our stuff all over again the next day!!!But now i can happily say that we are safe and sound in our new bug and leak free flat and smiling :)
I should also add that we managed to get back our £260 summer retainer fee because our apartment was that bad!!!
As i type i am sitting in my new flat and feeling much happier,safer and alot less stressed!!!Life is deffo busy busy busy right now,but i am glad that i can come out of it with a smile on my face :)
...Before i go, i should probably address the LOVE part of my blog title.The love has to be given to my bloody amazing friends!!Without them i would be nothing and i would certainly never have survived this crazy and horrible experience.
Claire and Maria,helped me move my stuff into hell and supported me when i discovered what i had let myself in for!!
Niki and Jono,were absolute stars and helped me get out of that place.Without them i never would have managed to escape :D
My Dad, who helps me through everything,whether its giving me money so i can pay off flats or buying me toiletries or giving me cuddles or talking to me on the phone and making me feel like things will be ok.I don't know what i would do without a DAD like mine,he is not only an amazing father, he's a friend who's always there,no matter what!!!I will never be able to thank him enough for everything he does for me.I love you Daddy x
I think that even though i had such a bad time of it, i am grateful because it has reminded me how blessed i am to have people like this in my life who will stand next to me and hold my hand when i am lost or worried and who support me and help me as much as they can and never ask for anything in return.Without these people my life just wouldn't be the same :D
So i send my sincere thanks and greatest love to those people who made hell turn into heaven, i wouldn't be anywhere without you xxx
Ok.Well i have tons of things to say so i thought it was about time to blog again.
I have had possibly the worst few days ever just recently!!
I moved into a flat that we found in Liverpool,all ready for Year 2!!! It was totally perfect when we visited as well, and i was mega mega excited!!It was right next to the students union and our uni builing and everything :)
HOIWEVER...the time comes for us to move in,and we're still mega excited.BUT then we get there and it was a total train wreck disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firstly,there were leaks in the ceiling with water coming through so that the entire living room smelt like damp which believe me is totally disgusting!And not to mention there was a BUCKET to catch all the water that was seeping through and dripping onto the floor!!! The walls and ceiling which used to be beautiful white were now brown because of the leak!!! And it was all through the living room,into my room and in Laurens room.And oh yeah, did i mention that Lauren has asthma and therefore cannot be anywhere near conditions like these is she wishes to survive!!!!!
Then there was bugs in the kitchen because evidently they liked the warm and damp conditions,so me and Lauren had to become expert woodlice and beetle killers in a very short space of time!!!!Oh and there was a GIANT SPIDER in the one bedroom that me and Lauren had to share!Yes,you heard me,in our perfect two bed flat we had to share a mattress on the floor because the idiots who had been trying to fix the leak had stood on and broke the beds!!! So we were scared shitless sharing this mattress in a leaky and bug-ridden flat for our first night!!Which was not at all what we'd paid for!!!We were literally crying because it was so bad!!
So of course,me being me, i went into kick ass mode and headed off to the student welfare office armed with a camera full of photo's of the most disgusting place on earth!!!And the woman down there agreed that it was minging (gross)!
So then we had a huge drama trying to get this evil witch of an estate agent to let us out of our tenancy contract so we could go find somewhere else!And she was being a right evil moo,telling us that we'd never find anywhere now and that she could move us around until it was fixed.IS SHE CRAZY?!?! It's an important year,as if we wanna live in different flats and be moved around until she decides to sort out trampsville!!!!NO WAY LADY!!!
What she didn't know is that by some miracle,we had already found a really cute little place where me and Lauren can both have our own rooms and bathrooms,back in Liberty Park,our old place of residence :D So it seemed our luck was changing!!!
Sooooooooooooo long story and bad bits over,we managed to get out of the contract with the witch,by threatening her with environmental health and Lauren's asthma issues!! So then we had to stay in the hellhole (flat)for another night and move all our stuff all over again the next day!!!But now i can happily say that we are safe and sound in our new bug and leak free flat and smiling :)
I should also add that we managed to get back our £260 summer retainer fee because our apartment was that bad!!!
As i type i am sitting in my new flat and feeling much happier,safer and alot less stressed!!!Life is deffo busy busy busy right now,but i am glad that i can come out of it with a smile on my face :)
...Before i go, i should probably address the LOVE part of my blog title.The love has to be given to my bloody amazing friends!!Without them i would be nothing and i would certainly never have survived this crazy and horrible experience.
Claire and Maria,helped me move my stuff into hell and supported me when i discovered what i had let myself in for!!
Niki and Jono,were absolute stars and helped me get out of that place.Without them i never would have managed to escape :D
My Dad, who helps me through everything,whether its giving me money so i can pay off flats or buying me toiletries or giving me cuddles or talking to me on the phone and making me feel like things will be ok.I don't know what i would do without a DAD like mine,he is not only an amazing father, he's a friend who's always there,no matter what!!!I will never be able to thank him enough for everything he does for me.I love you Daddy x
I think that even though i had such a bad time of it, i am grateful because it has reminded me how blessed i am to have people like this in my life who will stand next to me and hold my hand when i am lost or worried and who support me and help me as much as they can and never ask for anything in return.Without these people my life just wouldn't be the same :D
So i send my sincere thanks and greatest love to those people who made hell turn into heaven, i wouldn't be anywhere without you xxx
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Long time No speak....Or should i say type..
September 3rd 2008:
Ok,so i was sat down speaking to American friends on facebook when all of a sudden i realise that i hadn't blogged in ageeeeeeeeeees.I feel so bad!But really there isn't a great deal to report,however i still feel that i need to put in a bit of an update and at least some sort of effort!
So, i am doing a trillion times better now.I am adjusting back to life in England and all the rubbish rain we're having right now.It makes me so jealous to speak to some people who are still in the lovely glorious sunshine!I swear i should resort to sunbeds for my fix but i am slightly scared of the ccancer risk!!Dammit!
Anyway...i still miss everyone from Disney every single day and i think about people there alot and wonder what thy're doing now or how they are and whether they like the new people and what they're like.But i am starting to find it easier accepting that i need to be here and i need to get my degree finished and then i can look forward to being able to travel to a million different places and see all these amazing things! I guess i am focusing on the positives alot more now.
I had some prety fun times recently as well,which has made me smile much more.I went for a night on the tiles (went out clubbing) with my Mum!Which was possibly one of the funniest nights out i have ever had. I am lucky to be blessed with a mother who is fairly "down with the kids" and so we had a right giggle!Although i connot forgive the woman for dragging me into a hard core rock bar when we were both in summer dresses!!!!!!Think that was a drunken moment of randomness, i swear i thought they were gonna eat us alive,either that or slit our wrists so we looked less cheerful! But i actually had a really fun night with her.It was good to have some Mummy/Daughter time because we never really do that :)
Other things i can mention...
Erm...i am hopefully moving back up to Liverpool sometime within the next week so fingers crossed taht willa ll go well,althoughit snot looking like it at the moment due to difficulties with the flat but never mind,chin up and fingers crossed!!
Oh..how did i forget.I have to mention reuniting with an old friend of mine.He is a little angel and i dunno what i would do without him just recently!When i was feeling low he bought me flowers and sat and listened to me go on and on about how much i loved Disney and all my advenutes and sat through about ten million photo's and just was such a great person to have around when i felt like that.So i thank my lucky stars that i am blessed to have someone like him around in my life.
Thanks Matt xxx
Well thats me done for now, i promise i will try and update a bit more regularly in the future!
Sam x
p.s if the spelling and grammar is awful i am sorry!It's 1 am!!!
Ok,so i was sat down speaking to American friends on facebook when all of a sudden i realise that i hadn't blogged in ageeeeeeeeeees.I feel so bad!But really there isn't a great deal to report,however i still feel that i need to put in a bit of an update and at least some sort of effort!
So, i am doing a trillion times better now.I am adjusting back to life in England and all the rubbish rain we're having right now.It makes me so jealous to speak to some people who are still in the lovely glorious sunshine!I swear i should resort to sunbeds for my fix but i am slightly scared of the ccancer risk!!Dammit!
Anyway...i still miss everyone from Disney every single day and i think about people there alot and wonder what thy're doing now or how they are and whether they like the new people and what they're like.But i am starting to find it easier accepting that i need to be here and i need to get my degree finished and then i can look forward to being able to travel to a million different places and see all these amazing things! I guess i am focusing on the positives alot more now.
I had some prety fun times recently as well,which has made me smile much more.I went for a night on the tiles (went out clubbing) with my Mum!Which was possibly one of the funniest nights out i have ever had. I am lucky to be blessed with a mother who is fairly "down with the kids" and so we had a right giggle!Although i connot forgive the woman for dragging me into a hard core rock bar when we were both in summer dresses!!!!!!Think that was a drunken moment of randomness, i swear i thought they were gonna eat us alive,either that or slit our wrists so we looked less cheerful! But i actually had a really fun night with her.It was good to have some Mummy/Daughter time because we never really do that :)
Other things i can mention...
Erm...i am hopefully moving back up to Liverpool sometime within the next week so fingers crossed taht willa ll go well,althoughit snot looking like it at the moment due to difficulties with the flat but never mind,chin up and fingers crossed!!
Oh..how did i forget.I have to mention reuniting with an old friend of mine.He is a little angel and i dunno what i would do without him just recently!When i was feeling low he bought me flowers and sat and listened to me go on and on about how much i loved Disney and all my advenutes and sat through about ten million photo's and just was such a great person to have around when i felt like that.So i thank my lucky stars that i am blessed to have someone like him around in my life.
Thanks Matt xxx
Well thats me done for now, i promise i will try and update a bit more regularly in the future!
Sam x
p.s if the spelling and grammar is awful i am sorry!It's 1 am!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Things i thought.
Hello again.
Well I am pleased to report that things are on the up. I feel much better at the moment which is such a relief, I am just taking each day as it comes and reminding myself of all the positives and it appears to be working!!!
I am sitting here typing in my bed, on the laptop and it’s raining outside! It’s not fun rain like in Florida either, it’s just that drizzle that soaks you through! But nevertheless, I am curled up under the covers so I suppose it’s nice in way, knowing I am all warm and safe from the cold rain. Makes a difference from just a week ago when I would have been out there working in it, but it’s a completely different rain altogether. Isn’t it odd how not only do we have different weather but the actual weather itself is different, like the wind or the rain or the heat.
Anyway…I sat a worked on the video for Luke, Jen and Matt and it is just about finished. I am sooo excited because it literally took me hours of patching music and organising photo’s and adding in quotes and stuff to get it perfect so fingers crossed they are going to like it when I e-mail it to them later. Talking of e-mails, I got really excited because I got an e-mail from my Momma CB telling me about life over the pond. She tells me all my Yacht and Beach friends on the marina are doing well and that they are expecting their first hurricane sometime this week!! Exciting but nerve wrecking stuff I should imagine!
I am really please with keeping in touch with people so far, especially since we’ve all been busy getting home and everything but communications seem to be going well. The only person I wish I had gotten to speak to but haven’t yet is Matt. The little mister!!! But I will hopefully get to catch up with him soon.
I am supposed to be going to a festival with my Dad tomorrow which will be good fun!!I missed spending time with him,although we went out the other night with him and sat and talked about Disney and his holiday and played pool and just had a nice time as a family with sisters.It’s sad that I don’t get to see him all that much anymore because of not living with him at home and then being away in Liverpool at university,but I always look forward to his visits.It was hilarious the last time he came and stayed in Liverpool with me,we went out for a few drinks which turned into one of the best nights out ever.Lets just say I get my dancing and drinking capabilities from him!!!!But in all seriousness I am so glad he is my Dad because he is my friend as well and I know that not many people,especially girls are that close to their Daddies.I know plenty of Daddies girls who love their Dad and who’s Dad;s are protective etc but hard;y any who would be able to go out drinking with their Dad or talk to their Dad about guys and stuff.But I am blessed to have no problem with telling my Dad anything,most of the time!!
Well I am pleased to report that things are on the up. I feel much better at the moment which is such a relief, I am just taking each day as it comes and reminding myself of all the positives and it appears to be working!!!
I am sitting here typing in my bed, on the laptop and it’s raining outside! It’s not fun rain like in Florida either, it’s just that drizzle that soaks you through! But nevertheless, I am curled up under the covers so I suppose it’s nice in way, knowing I am all warm and safe from the cold rain. Makes a difference from just a week ago when I would have been out there working in it, but it’s a completely different rain altogether. Isn’t it odd how not only do we have different weather but the actual weather itself is different, like the wind or the rain or the heat.
Anyway…I sat a worked on the video for Luke, Jen and Matt and it is just about finished. I am sooo excited because it literally took me hours of patching music and organising photo’s and adding in quotes and stuff to get it perfect so fingers crossed they are going to like it when I e-mail it to them later. Talking of e-mails, I got really excited because I got an e-mail from my Momma CB telling me about life over the pond. She tells me all my Yacht and Beach friends on the marina are doing well and that they are expecting their first hurricane sometime this week!! Exciting but nerve wrecking stuff I should imagine!
I am really please with keeping in touch with people so far, especially since we’ve all been busy getting home and everything but communications seem to be going well. The only person I wish I had gotten to speak to but haven’t yet is Matt. The little mister!!! But I will hopefully get to catch up with him soon.
I am supposed to be going to a festival with my Dad tomorrow which will be good fun!!I missed spending time with him,although we went out the other night with him and sat and talked about Disney and his holiday and played pool and just had a nice time as a family with sisters.It’s sad that I don’t get to see him all that much anymore because of not living with him at home and then being away in Liverpool at university,but I always look forward to his visits.It was hilarious the last time he came and stayed in Liverpool with me,we went out for a few drinks which turned into one of the best nights out ever.Lets just say I get my dancing and drinking capabilities from him!!!!But in all seriousness I am so glad he is my Dad because he is my friend as well and I know that not many people,especially girls are that close to their Daddies.I know plenty of Daddies girls who love their Dad and who’s Dad;s are protective etc but hard;y any who would be able to go out drinking with their Dad or talk to their Dad about guys and stuff.But I am blessed to have no problem with telling my Dad anything,most of the time!!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Life for moi!
Friday 15th August 2008
Ok.Well the good news is i am starting to feel better about things.I am feeling happier and today i had a really nice day with my sisters.We watched "Camp Rock" and it reminded me of the time me and Luke sat on the beach and watched it at the premier! That was such a fun night!! I distinctly remember a few very hot guys as well,besides the Jonas Brothers of course :S
Anyway, i spent some of my day showing Niki (my youngest sister) all the parades and shows i had seen in Disney on youtube.com and she really loved them, i knew she would and i wish more than anything that she had been with me to see it but thats gonna deffo be part of my plans for the future,to get her and my other sister,Emily there!!
Today we had a bit of drama as well!The field next to my house was on fire!!! Me and my sisters went to take Jack (the family dog :) ) for a walk and we heard this crackling sound and as we walked further it grew louder,then we turned a corner and BAM there was a field fire right in front of our eyes! Luckily we called 999 and they had already been informed and the fire engine was there asap!
Erm...what else?Ooooo i dyed my hair today!Got it back to my crazy vibrant red again and am sooo happy about it.I waited the whole 3 months of Disney to get it back!Cos part of "disney look" is having a natural hair colour and apparently bright red doesn't come under that heading :P So i am happy to have my fun hair back again!! I missed it!
I went to library and got some books as well because obviously i could not be without one!!I am a serial read-a-holic and i am shocked i haven't mentioned it before! But to be honest when i was reporting from Disney i think books were the last thing i had to write about :P I also had my first proper English chips and peas which i didn't enjoy as much as i would have liked :S but never mind!! I am trying to be healthier anyway so its probably a good job i am put off for a while!
I did some serious e-mailing tonight and just made sure i was keeping in touch with all my lovelies from Disney.I need to make sure they know how much i miss them and that i think about them all the time!! I really do wish that i could see them everyday still, i think i would miss Diseny alot less if i knew they were close by! Life can be a right bum, sometimes!But never mind i guess i know that the people who matter the most will always be in touch and me and Stewart are already going crazy on planning Luke and Jen's visit to England!!!
Anyway, i am gonna go now and try to sleep,still aiming to get in that pattern!!!!
Night night x
Ok.Well the good news is i am starting to feel better about things.I am feeling happier and today i had a really nice day with my sisters.We watched "Camp Rock" and it reminded me of the time me and Luke sat on the beach and watched it at the premier! That was such a fun night!! I distinctly remember a few very hot guys as well,besides the Jonas Brothers of course :S
Anyway, i spent some of my day showing Niki (my youngest sister) all the parades and shows i had seen in Disney on youtube.com and she really loved them, i knew she would and i wish more than anything that she had been with me to see it but thats gonna deffo be part of my plans for the future,to get her and my other sister,Emily there!!
Today we had a bit of drama as well!The field next to my house was on fire!!! Me and my sisters went to take Jack (the family dog :) ) for a walk and we heard this crackling sound and as we walked further it grew louder,then we turned a corner and BAM there was a field fire right in front of our eyes! Luckily we called 999 and they had already been informed and the fire engine was there asap!
Erm...what else?Ooooo i dyed my hair today!Got it back to my crazy vibrant red again and am sooo happy about it.I waited the whole 3 months of Disney to get it back!Cos part of "disney look" is having a natural hair colour and apparently bright red doesn't come under that heading :P So i am happy to have my fun hair back again!! I missed it!
I went to library and got some books as well because obviously i could not be without one!!I am a serial read-a-holic and i am shocked i haven't mentioned it before! But to be honest when i was reporting from Disney i think books were the last thing i had to write about :P I also had my first proper English chips and peas which i didn't enjoy as much as i would have liked :S but never mind!! I am trying to be healthier anyway so its probably a good job i am put off for a while!
I did some serious e-mailing tonight and just made sure i was keeping in touch with all my lovelies from Disney.I need to make sure they know how much i miss them and that i think about them all the time!! I really do wish that i could see them everyday still, i think i would miss Diseny alot less if i knew they were close by! Life can be a right bum, sometimes!But never mind i guess i know that the people who matter the most will always be in touch and me and Stewart are already going crazy on planning Luke and Jen's visit to England!!!
Anyway, i am gonna go now and try to sleep,still aiming to get in that pattern!!!!
Night night x
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
LIFE AFTER DISNEY BEGINS....
13th August 2008.
Well, i got back from Disney on Saturday and my family were waiting at the airport.My little sisters had made me a banner saying "WELCOME HOME SAM" which was the first thing i saw,that made me smile so much.Its funny how the littlest things can make you feel the happiest :)
So then we drove home and i slept for most of it.Then on Sunday i went to my Nana's for our traditional Sunday Dinner.Now for those of you that aren't my family you will not know about this tradition.Every Sunday my Nana and Grandad Ross (Mums mum and dad) make a Sunday Dinner buffet for all of my aunties and uncles and cousins and we all go round and eat and catch up.We have meat (usually beef) and yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes and vegetables etc. Its always beautiful and this Sunday it was even better because i had missed it so much and i got to see all my family!
The bad news is, i had the worst jet lag ever so i was ill and a complete grump.I am struggling to keep myself from crying when i talk about Disney and my friends,just because i miss them so much and because i loved my life over there so readjusting is hard. I know it probably sounds so ungrateful of me to be sad when i have just experienced the best 3 months of my life,but coming down from a high that was so huge is alot harder than you would think.Readjusting to life back in some sort of reality is crazy. I feel like i don't appreciate things here anymore as much as i should just because i know there is more and better.
I know that it is really hard for my family to understand,in fact i am sure they think it means i don't love them and don't want to be with them.But it isn't that at all.I just feel completely numb and just low,for no reason and as much as i wanna be happy i just physically find it hard.Getting up in the morning is a struggle right now and i have no idea why.It's so frustrating and it annoys me more than anyone because i am naturally such a full of life and happy person and i honestly do not know what i can do to make this dark cloud go away. The worst thing is i feel like i have no control over it which is hard for me because i am used to having control.
I spoke to Luke about it and he suggested a million and one things.I honestly do not know what i would do without that boy sometimes.I am so glad he is around.I followed one particular piece of his advice (he knows which part) and i am hoping it will work :)
I guess it's just ben hard to readjust to life away from the happiest place in the world!!!
Hoping for better soon!
Well, i got back from Disney on Saturday and my family were waiting at the airport.My little sisters had made me a banner saying "WELCOME HOME SAM" which was the first thing i saw,that made me smile so much.Its funny how the littlest things can make you feel the happiest :)
So then we drove home and i slept for most of it.Then on Sunday i went to my Nana's for our traditional Sunday Dinner.Now for those of you that aren't my family you will not know about this tradition.Every Sunday my Nana and Grandad Ross (Mums mum and dad) make a Sunday Dinner buffet for all of my aunties and uncles and cousins and we all go round and eat and catch up.We have meat (usually beef) and yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes and vegetables etc. Its always beautiful and this Sunday it was even better because i had missed it so much and i got to see all my family!
The bad news is, i had the worst jet lag ever so i was ill and a complete grump.I am struggling to keep myself from crying when i talk about Disney and my friends,just because i miss them so much and because i loved my life over there so readjusting is hard. I know it probably sounds so ungrateful of me to be sad when i have just experienced the best 3 months of my life,but coming down from a high that was so huge is alot harder than you would think.Readjusting to life back in some sort of reality is crazy. I feel like i don't appreciate things here anymore as much as i should just because i know there is more and better.
I know that it is really hard for my family to understand,in fact i am sure they think it means i don't love them and don't want to be with them.But it isn't that at all.I just feel completely numb and just low,for no reason and as much as i wanna be happy i just physically find it hard.Getting up in the morning is a struggle right now and i have no idea why.It's so frustrating and it annoys me more than anyone because i am naturally such a full of life and happy person and i honestly do not know what i can do to make this dark cloud go away. The worst thing is i feel like i have no control over it which is hard for me because i am used to having control.
I spoke to Luke about it and he suggested a million and one things.I honestly do not know what i would do without that boy sometimes.I am so glad he is around.I followed one particular piece of his advice (he knows which part) and i am hoping it will work :)
I guess it's just ben hard to readjust to life away from the happiest place in the world!!!
Hoping for better soon!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Last Days Of Magic **
August 6th 2008:
Today was my last day working on the marina. It was pretty tough and I managed to get through it fairly well right until the end of the day and then it got to me.I had a day of just laughing with the people I had met there, taking pictures and exchanging e-mail addresses with everyone. I brought everyone pizza and handed out thank-you cards to those people who have meant the most to me while I was there.
Shane,the guy who trained me in lifeguard class and who I have consistently had the giggle with since I have been at yacht and beach.Everything from the lack of sealeasy in my recreation hip pack to differences in the accent and words I use.
Missy,the fishing guide who sat and talked to me about everything from life to bass fishing.She is an extraordinary lady and I honestly hope that I am half as strong in both body and character as she is when I am older.
Jen,the one manager who helped me more than anyone,who had my crying in her office on a bad day and who sent me home and checked up on me every time she could.The manager who made sure I knew her door was open and who always carted about everyone.
Heather,one of my marina mum’s who made me laugh more than anyone.A woman who is both strong and beautiful and she needs to always believe it.I hope she gets the happily ever after she deserves.
CB,my other marina mum.A lady I have nothing but respect and honest love for.She taught me more about Elvis than I knew even existed.She made me laugh when I was down and when I wasn;t!! She helped me out when I needed it and offered help just for the sake of it.She is in a class of her own and I hope with all my heart that I am half the lady she is.
David,my marina dad who gave me a million rides home, a million smiles and all the help I could have ever asked for.The guy who made life that little bit easier and who would do anything for anyone.I hope this man gets nothing but happiness in his future.
James, my american boy who shared laughs and tears with me.Who made me realise that ife isn’t always easy but you can do and be anything you want to as long as you try harfd enough.A guy who opened his heart to me and who stole my heart forever.A boy who is a joy to be around and someone I wish nothing but happiness and love for always.
Josh,my marina brother who gropes me (his words not mine).The guy who made me smile whenever he was around.The one who gave me hugs like nobody else and who let me be anyone I wanted to be,no matter what that was.The guy who restored my faith in the beauty within people.The guy who made me feel like a little princess and who understood me beyond belief.
Thank-You to all of you and everyone else at Yacht and Beach.You made my life in Florida amazing and I will be forever grateful to you.Love you always xxx
Once I had finished work I got changed and headed over to Epcot to Norway for my Princess dinner with Jen and her family.It was amazing and I was sooo overexcited.I got to see Ariel uin her dress and me and Jen acted like big kids for the night!!!It was so perfect and I had such an amazing time,thank you so much to Jren and her partwnts for making me smile even after a day like today!! You are amazing people and I am so thankful for everything.
Then we met up with Luke and headed over to Hollywood Studio’s to ride the Rock n Rollercoaster one more time.We did that and went and watched the Ariel show one last time for me!! It was a magical night and another one I will treasure always.
August 7th 2008:
Today was my graduation and final day of Disney and man was it an amazing one. This morning was a bit rough cos we had to get up early and go to Partner to pick up our pay check which resulted in us getting lost with Jens parents which was quite hilarious and then waiting for about an hour and a half to go and pick up and cash our cheques but after that we headed over to Epcot for our graduation. We got our “ears” and a certificate and I got a picture with graduation Mickey! So after we had done that we met up with Josh and Cody and did some of Epcot for the last time. We had to do everyone’s little favourite things so we got chips from England for me and headed over to Paris for pastry for Luke. We rode on Soaring for Jen (just KIDDing, Jen hates heights and the Kid jokes too :P ) which was sooo funny because that it the ride that Cody works on and so we got fast passed to the front and got the best seats and then Cody ran off to go do the spiel for us and at the end he announced that it was my birthday and made me go bright red which was sooo funny and I was laughing too much. I love that ride so much and when we saw Disney we cheered and screamed and I really just took in that moment,sat on one of my favourite rides looking at one of my favourite places with the best friends a girl could ask for,
Later, we sneaked into this old ride as well and walked round it which was weird but so funny because we all acted like little school kids that were gonna get caught even though we didn’t do anything wrong but still :P
Then we headed over to Magic Kingdom and hung out there for a bit and went on a few rides and took some pictures. Then Josh and Cody decided to tell us that they had not only got us V.I.P seats to watch the Spectromagic parade but also that we were going to be watching Wishes from the rooftops! It was honestly my best night in Disney. I spent it with people I love and care for so much and I got to see everything so perfectly and I have them to thank for it.Guys I love you so much and you will never know how grateful I am for everything.The parade was unbelievable,we sat in a roped off section right at the beginning and all the characters looked at us and interacted with us and we screamed and cheered and acted like big kids the whole time,which is what diseny is all about!!I have to say that I have never ever seen anyone as excited as Luke and Cody when they saw Peter Pan.Although I will admit I went pretty crazy when I saw ariel!! It was such a magical time and I honestly felt the flutter of something not quite ordinary in my veins and my heart.It sounds so odd unless you feel it yourself but I felt like I had pixie dust in my veins,by this I mean I felt like I was being given an extra kind of feeling, that little bit more magic than anyone else and I will hold the belief and happiness of that moment with me forever.
Then we headed onto the rooftop where we took loads of pictures of Magic Kingdom below us.And then we stood together for the very last time to hear and see the most beautiful fireworks in the world,Wishes. I paused for a moment and looked around me and I saw a rooftop of people who I had grown to love,lit up by the light of the fireworks and I will hold that moment in my heart for always. That image of Jen and Luke,Josh and Cody Matt and Adam, all standing there hearing all about the hopes and dreams we had achieved throughout the time we had spend together.I t still brings tears to my eyes now. Me and Jen sobbed like babies but I can honestly say that my tears have never been happier. They were tears of joy for the luck I have had in meeting such amazing people, seeing such amazing things and having my biggest dreams come to life.
August 8th 2008:
Today was a bad bad day.
I got up at silly o’clock with a bit of a hangover to find that my other flatmates, besides Gemma had already left and had also decided to leave all their food in the cupboards, their mess everywhere and generally just messed it up. I was sooo angry and upset cos it meant I spent my last morning cleaning instead of spending time with Luke and Jen which made me wanna cry.
Then I had to say Goodbye to Jen…
I decided to opt for being strong and saying See you later. But it still broke my heart.I was as strong as I could be but the second I thought about not seeing her for that amount of time just filled me up. Let me tell you about Jen. I met Jen in lifeguard class right at the beginning of my program ,she was a little sweetie and helped everyone out, including me because I was confused about why I was finding it so hard to sink.For a few days we hung out and had giggles and just got acquainted and then I quit and thought nothing of it.Then I was in the pool at Vista and she came over and told me she had passed and we got chatting,and before I knew what had happened she had become someone I couldn’t have lived without. She was there for me through everything these past few months, we’ve laughed we’ve cried and we’ve shared stories and drama. We get on like a house on fire and I honestly feel like crying every time I think about spending the next few months without having her to go to when I feel low or when I need a laugh or just to hang out with. Jen is not only beautiful but she is kind and intelligent, has a wicked sense of humour and was always around when I needed her. So I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank-you to a girl who made Disney that little bit more magic.Love you always x
So after the hardest goodbye I went and got in a taxi with Luke and Stewart and Harry and Jamie and we headed over to the Marriot hotel to hang out with Sabina before we had to go get on our plane. I spent most of that time asleep because I was just exhausted both physically and mentally. Then we got on the shuttle and headed over to the airport where I had to say goodbye to Luke. That killed me. I will take a moment to try to explain why I love this boy so much,I met him one night while I was in the hot tub and he was watching Hockey in the gym with Jen. I said hi and everything and never thought anything of it.Now I look back and that day was probably the luckiest day of my entire trip.I was fortunate enough to meet the boy who became my best friend. We spent a lot of time together after that day,he mocked my accent and we shared bad jokes, we laughed so hard I cried.I spent a magical day with him and his family and we spent hours taking and sharing problems. I have met a million guys in my time (all 19 years of it) and I may not be an expert but I can honestly say that whoever becomes this boys Cinderella is one damn lucky lady. He lets me be a kid and escape to our Neverland where we can be silly and have fun and never worry. He is my Peter Pan.
Once I had said goodbye i started crying and that was it, I was done. Then most of the planeride I slept and watched movies .I drank my first legal drink since being in America and just tried not to think about the fact that I was flying away from the most fantastic time of my life.
When I look back through this blog and see all the up’s and down’s I have had, the number of breathtaking moments and the amount of amazing people I have met, I find it hard to be sad. Now bear with me because that may seem a little strange, but I can see how lucky I am to have experienced all of this. I am taking home memories that I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world and nobody and nothing can take that away from me, especially not a silly word like Goodbye.
Its been one hell of an adventure. I remember spending hours dreaming of being here and now I can finally say that some of my dreams have become a reality. When you live in a world like the one we do, its sometimes easier to think of all that you are denied, and your faith in magic and belief in the extraordinary begins to fade. But then you find places and people like I have here and it reminds you why you have a reason to smile. Seeing the castle at the end of Main Street in Magic Kingdom will always fill me with an inner glow because its’ not the bricks and mortar that are important, it’s everything they stand for. That castle is the figment of dreams, the symbol of hopes and the proof that magic can still exist. Anytime I ever feel sad or low I know I will always be able to look back at the pictures of me here and not only see that castle in the background but see the size of the smile on my face and that faces of those with me.
Being able to believe is half the battle. And since being here, I have learned that sometimes faith and belief is all people have. I have seen kids who are dying and you would never guess because they are so strong and so excited to be in Disneyworld. I have experienced the most amazing emotions and found friends that will last a lifetime. I think that the majority of the magic I felt here came from those friends that I met here.
So that’s all for now,I will start my “Life after Disney” blog soon but it may be a few days because I need to see family and stuff first.
So for the last time…
FAITH,TRUST AND PIXIE DUST *****
Today was my last day working on the marina. It was pretty tough and I managed to get through it fairly well right until the end of the day and then it got to me.I had a day of just laughing with the people I had met there, taking pictures and exchanging e-mail addresses with everyone. I brought everyone pizza and handed out thank-you cards to those people who have meant the most to me while I was there.
Shane,the guy who trained me in lifeguard class and who I have consistently had the giggle with since I have been at yacht and beach.Everything from the lack of sealeasy in my recreation hip pack to differences in the accent and words I use.
Missy,the fishing guide who sat and talked to me about everything from life to bass fishing.She is an extraordinary lady and I honestly hope that I am half as strong in both body and character as she is when I am older.
Jen,the one manager who helped me more than anyone,who had my crying in her office on a bad day and who sent me home and checked up on me every time she could.The manager who made sure I knew her door was open and who always carted about everyone.
Heather,one of my marina mum’s who made me laugh more than anyone.A woman who is both strong and beautiful and she needs to always believe it.I hope she gets the happily ever after she deserves.
CB,my other marina mum.A lady I have nothing but respect and honest love for.She taught me more about Elvis than I knew even existed.She made me laugh when I was down and when I wasn;t!! She helped me out when I needed it and offered help just for the sake of it.She is in a class of her own and I hope with all my heart that I am half the lady she is.
David,my marina dad who gave me a million rides home, a million smiles and all the help I could have ever asked for.The guy who made life that little bit easier and who would do anything for anyone.I hope this man gets nothing but happiness in his future.
James, my american boy who shared laughs and tears with me.Who made me realise that ife isn’t always easy but you can do and be anything you want to as long as you try harfd enough.A guy who opened his heart to me and who stole my heart forever.A boy who is a joy to be around and someone I wish nothing but happiness and love for always.
Josh,my marina brother who gropes me (his words not mine).The guy who made me smile whenever he was around.The one who gave me hugs like nobody else and who let me be anyone I wanted to be,no matter what that was.The guy who restored my faith in the beauty within people.The guy who made me feel like a little princess and who understood me beyond belief.
Thank-You to all of you and everyone else at Yacht and Beach.You made my life in Florida amazing and I will be forever grateful to you.Love you always xxx
Once I had finished work I got changed and headed over to Epcot to Norway for my Princess dinner with Jen and her family.It was amazing and I was sooo overexcited.I got to see Ariel uin her dress and me and Jen acted like big kids for the night!!!It was so perfect and I had such an amazing time,thank you so much to Jren and her partwnts for making me smile even after a day like today!! You are amazing people and I am so thankful for everything.
Then we met up with Luke and headed over to Hollywood Studio’s to ride the Rock n Rollercoaster one more time.We did that and went and watched the Ariel show one last time for me!! It was a magical night and another one I will treasure always.
August 7th 2008:
Today was my graduation and final day of Disney and man was it an amazing one. This morning was a bit rough cos we had to get up early and go to Partner to pick up our pay check which resulted in us getting lost with Jens parents which was quite hilarious and then waiting for about an hour and a half to go and pick up and cash our cheques but after that we headed over to Epcot for our graduation. We got our “ears” and a certificate and I got a picture with graduation Mickey! So after we had done that we met up with Josh and Cody and did some of Epcot for the last time. We had to do everyone’s little favourite things so we got chips from England for me and headed over to Paris for pastry for Luke. We rode on Soaring for Jen (just KIDDing, Jen hates heights and the Kid jokes too :P ) which was sooo funny because that it the ride that Cody works on and so we got fast passed to the front and got the best seats and then Cody ran off to go do the spiel for us and at the end he announced that it was my birthday and made me go bright red which was sooo funny and I was laughing too much. I love that ride so much and when we saw Disney we cheered and screamed and I really just took in that moment,sat on one of my favourite rides looking at one of my favourite places with the best friends a girl could ask for,
Later, we sneaked into this old ride as well and walked round it which was weird but so funny because we all acted like little school kids that were gonna get caught even though we didn’t do anything wrong but still :P
Then we headed over to Magic Kingdom and hung out there for a bit and went on a few rides and took some pictures. Then Josh and Cody decided to tell us that they had not only got us V.I.P seats to watch the Spectromagic parade but also that we were going to be watching Wishes from the rooftops! It was honestly my best night in Disney. I spent it with people I love and care for so much and I got to see everything so perfectly and I have them to thank for it.Guys I love you so much and you will never know how grateful I am for everything.The parade was unbelievable,we sat in a roped off section right at the beginning and all the characters looked at us and interacted with us and we screamed and cheered and acted like big kids the whole time,which is what diseny is all about!!I have to say that I have never ever seen anyone as excited as Luke and Cody when they saw Peter Pan.Although I will admit I went pretty crazy when I saw ariel!! It was such a magical time and I honestly felt the flutter of something not quite ordinary in my veins and my heart.It sounds so odd unless you feel it yourself but I felt like I had pixie dust in my veins,by this I mean I felt like I was being given an extra kind of feeling, that little bit more magic than anyone else and I will hold the belief and happiness of that moment with me forever.
Then we headed onto the rooftop where we took loads of pictures of Magic Kingdom below us.And then we stood together for the very last time to hear and see the most beautiful fireworks in the world,Wishes. I paused for a moment and looked around me and I saw a rooftop of people who I had grown to love,lit up by the light of the fireworks and I will hold that moment in my heart for always. That image of Jen and Luke,Josh and Cody Matt and Adam, all standing there hearing all about the hopes and dreams we had achieved throughout the time we had spend together.I t still brings tears to my eyes now. Me and Jen sobbed like babies but I can honestly say that my tears have never been happier. They were tears of joy for the luck I have had in meeting such amazing people, seeing such amazing things and having my biggest dreams come to life.
August 8th 2008:
Today was a bad bad day.
I got up at silly o’clock with a bit of a hangover to find that my other flatmates, besides Gemma had already left and had also decided to leave all their food in the cupboards, their mess everywhere and generally just messed it up. I was sooo angry and upset cos it meant I spent my last morning cleaning instead of spending time with Luke and Jen which made me wanna cry.
Then I had to say Goodbye to Jen…
I decided to opt for being strong and saying See you later. But it still broke my heart.I was as strong as I could be but the second I thought about not seeing her for that amount of time just filled me up. Let me tell you about Jen. I met Jen in lifeguard class right at the beginning of my program ,she was a little sweetie and helped everyone out, including me because I was confused about why I was finding it so hard to sink.For a few days we hung out and had giggles and just got acquainted and then I quit and thought nothing of it.Then I was in the pool at Vista and she came over and told me she had passed and we got chatting,and before I knew what had happened she had become someone I couldn’t have lived without. She was there for me through everything these past few months, we’ve laughed we’ve cried and we’ve shared stories and drama. We get on like a house on fire and I honestly feel like crying every time I think about spending the next few months without having her to go to when I feel low or when I need a laugh or just to hang out with. Jen is not only beautiful but she is kind and intelligent, has a wicked sense of humour and was always around when I needed her. So I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank-you to a girl who made Disney that little bit more magic.Love you always x
So after the hardest goodbye I went and got in a taxi with Luke and Stewart and Harry and Jamie and we headed over to the Marriot hotel to hang out with Sabina before we had to go get on our plane. I spent most of that time asleep because I was just exhausted both physically and mentally. Then we got on the shuttle and headed over to the airport where I had to say goodbye to Luke. That killed me. I will take a moment to try to explain why I love this boy so much,I met him one night while I was in the hot tub and he was watching Hockey in the gym with Jen. I said hi and everything and never thought anything of it.Now I look back and that day was probably the luckiest day of my entire trip.I was fortunate enough to meet the boy who became my best friend. We spent a lot of time together after that day,he mocked my accent and we shared bad jokes, we laughed so hard I cried.I spent a magical day with him and his family and we spent hours taking and sharing problems. I have met a million guys in my time (all 19 years of it) and I may not be an expert but I can honestly say that whoever becomes this boys Cinderella is one damn lucky lady. He lets me be a kid and escape to our Neverland where we can be silly and have fun and never worry. He is my Peter Pan.
Once I had said goodbye i started crying and that was it, I was done. Then most of the planeride I slept and watched movies .I drank my first legal drink since being in America and just tried not to think about the fact that I was flying away from the most fantastic time of my life.
When I look back through this blog and see all the up’s and down’s I have had, the number of breathtaking moments and the amount of amazing people I have met, I find it hard to be sad. Now bear with me because that may seem a little strange, but I can see how lucky I am to have experienced all of this. I am taking home memories that I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world and nobody and nothing can take that away from me, especially not a silly word like Goodbye.
Its been one hell of an adventure. I remember spending hours dreaming of being here and now I can finally say that some of my dreams have become a reality. When you live in a world like the one we do, its sometimes easier to think of all that you are denied, and your faith in magic and belief in the extraordinary begins to fade. But then you find places and people like I have here and it reminds you why you have a reason to smile. Seeing the castle at the end of Main Street in Magic Kingdom will always fill me with an inner glow because its’ not the bricks and mortar that are important, it’s everything they stand for. That castle is the figment of dreams, the symbol of hopes and the proof that magic can still exist. Anytime I ever feel sad or low I know I will always be able to look back at the pictures of me here and not only see that castle in the background but see the size of the smile on my face and that faces of those with me.
Being able to believe is half the battle. And since being here, I have learned that sometimes faith and belief is all people have. I have seen kids who are dying and you would never guess because they are so strong and so excited to be in Disneyworld. I have experienced the most amazing emotions and found friends that will last a lifetime. I think that the majority of the magic I felt here came from those friends that I met here.
So that’s all for now,I will start my “Life after Disney” blog soon but it may be a few days because I need to see family and stuff first.
So for the last time…
FAITH,TRUST AND PIXIE DUST *****
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