Happy Birthday Mummy x

July 21st 2008:
I had my last day off today.So I decided to spend it with my boys again. Today we hung out and talked about random stuff and just spent some time learning more about each other. Me and Chris were planning our wedding because he wants British citizenship and I want American citizenship so it’s a perfect match :D Plus the fact that I get on with him like a brother! I really realised how much I am gonna miss these guys when I leave. I think that here I just kind of fell into a life that fits me perfectly and I have met so many people that I can’t imagine leaving behind. Although I have friends and my family at home that I am dying to see and I am getting excited to be back and seeing them again because 3 months feels like a lifetime being away from the people you love the most. But at the same time I have found a little click here that I fit into and I will miss that soo much when I get home because I think I finally found the person I wanna be while I am here. I am a happier person and I am more confident and I have friends who I know are genuine and I just feel at peace with life. It all sounds very hippy like and no doubt it is hard to understand but I just feel settled and at home here. So it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done when it comes to leaving.
I think that before I came, when people said it would be a life changing experience, I just agreed because I knew going to a country and working there would be a new experience but now I see that I have grown as a person here and I have learned a lot about myself and other cultures and about the way I want my life to be and what I wanna do with my life. I am so glad I came here and even though it cost me a bomb and I know I will have to work my ass off when I get home to afford to pay off my overdraft and whatever, I wouldn’t change any of it because I loved every second of being here and everything about my time here.
I realise how lucky I am to have been given this experience and this opportunity and I cannot even begin to express how grateful I feel for everything I have seen, felt and the people that I have been blessed to meet here.I will always hold that close to my heart and I know I will be back again :D
Bye for now x x x


23rd July 2008:

Today was not so great.
I had work which was fine but I was tired and not feeling very well. I am getting a nasty sore throat again and a bit of a cold which is getting me down because I hate feeling poorly. Work was ok though, although the weather today was horrendous he good part about that though was that I got to chill out in the marina and then got an ER (early release) and came home 45 minutes early!
It was after work that things got really bad L First I was talking to one of my good friends and he has major relationship problems and was down and upset and needed help and so I felt helpless and I hate that. If I could be there for him any more I would and he knows that but sometimes I hate that I can’t just wave a magic wand and make things better!! I think I am gonna suggest that becomes Disney’s next invention. Although I think they pretty much got that one down here because even when I have the worst days ever, one look at the background on my computer (a picture of the castle) reminds me how lucky I am to be here and how amazing this experience has been!So I managed to organise helping out my friend and was starting to feel a bit happier,but then I get in and find out that we have a mandatory meeting on Friday at 10am because a member of our flat has called for it. So basically I have to call-in to work and not go to my shift and instead sit and talk with some random stranger about the fact that one person is unhappy about life in the apartment.The best part about this,however, is that she is the messiest one. I think that I wouldn’t have even minded if the discussion was held here and she had expressed her opinion but to go and organise and official meeting which will cause me to miss work,all over some dishes in the sink is too far. I hate arguments and confrontation and I don’t want there to be any tension here because I only have two weeks left but this girl seems to leave me no choice. I can’t do right for doing wrong and even when I trust her and defend her she makes me look like an idiot and betrays me. I feel so down and just hurt by all of this. Today was not fun at all. And do make it better, someone from outside the flat, also made my day a hell of a lot worse by telling the most horrible lie and using me and manipulating me to find out information that he should have just asked out straight for. I was soooo angry but mainly I was hurt by the things that happened today. I have chosen not to name people because I feel that its not required. I want to express my unhappiness and report truthfully about my feelings, not to place blame. But I felt the need to highlight the low points of shared accommodation with strangers as well as the highs! However…my flatmate Giulianna and me had an awesome night talking and listening to music, especially to a certain song “I am stronger than you think I am” its brilliant and it fits in with a lot that’s going on around us at the moment so we had a girlie rock out session and painted our nails! It was fun :D



24th July 2008:
So today I was poorly…And I will maybe update this at a later date (BTD)

25th July 2008:
So today was possibly the worst day ever. We had a mandatory meeting with the price management people who own our housing complex to sort out the problems in the flat. You would think this would make things easier but it made them worse and solved absolutely nothing. I was so mad because I had to miss two hours of work for it and it was totally pointless. It was supposed to be a time to air our issues and it ended up just being a dragging up of the past issues and like I said it solved nothing.
It was already gonna be a bad day for me anyway because it was my Mummy’s birthday and so I was sad to be away from my family. I just was not in the right frame of mind to go into a meeting when I was homesick and upset and then it just topped it all off being somewhere when I didn’t wanna be. So when I got to work I was a total mess and I rang my Nana Ross on my break and after I spoke to her I was still a bit sad but felt a million times better because no matter what she always manages to make me smile and I honestly do not know what I would do without her in my life.
However,now I am looking back on today it made me realise that I have made some amazing friend here.James,who poicked me up and rushed me to work so I wasn’t any later than I had to be, Giulianna sending me text messages making sure I was doing alright, Chris texting to make sure I still smiled, Josh giving me millions of cuddles and just making me smile. I just think that it’s the bad times when you realise who really cares and all of those people let me know they cared and that made me happy because it’s a positive that has derived from a fat ass negative day !!
So anyway I am off to sleep now because I am sooo drained after all the emotions today and then working all day in the boiling sun hasn’t helped! Nighty night x x x